What if CyberTruck was a Man? CyberTruck is a Masculine Truck!!!

What if CyberTruck was a Man?

CyberTruck is a Masculine Truck!!!

I was recently having a conversation with my pal, Matthew Tower who is a fellow Tesla enthusiast and we were talking about how masculine the CyberTruck is, and Matthew quipped:

"CyberTruck is the single most masculine product

 ever created in the history of the world!!!"

—Matthew Tower 

(December 2023)

I completely agree with Matthew's assessment, so much so, I thought I would write an article on this subject.

In my article, named "Jake's TAKE on the Production CyberTruck", I elaborated on this subject so I decided to share the part of that discussion below, as well as expanding on my philosophy.

CyberTruck Exterior

A Masculine Avatar for the Ultimate ManCave on Wheels

In the movie, Trainspotting there is a really funny scene where they get high and watch an old Bond flick, and Sick Boy says, in what could be considered a Jeff Spicoli like moment and quips: "That Sean Connery—he's a masculine actor!!!" The CyberTruck is exactly that. As an anthropomorphized avatar, CyberTruck is the Sean Connery as Bond of vehicles. Masculine, modern, handsome, timeless, bold, clean-cut and highly athletic.

"That Sean Connery—he's a masculine actor!!!"

—Trainspotting 

(1996)

I argue that if the CyberTruck was a man, he would be most similar to Sean Connery as James Bond, in Dr. No as seen below in the sense Connery was a large, muscular man who was extremely athletic, handsome, charismatic, modern and clean-cut.

In the photo below we see a white Tesla Model X parked next to a Tesla CyberTruck, which gives us an excellent sense of the difference in size and scale. Both are essentially Sports Utility Vehicles (SUV), and the Model X is basically a soccer mom SUV in looks, curves and function. If you think about it, the Tesla Roadster is SMALL size vehicle, the Model 3 and Y, are MEDIUM size, and the Models S & X are LARGE, which makes the CyberTruck the first EXTRA-LARGE Tesla model.

The CyberTruck is like the Dude version of the Model X—on steroids, in the sense its larger and looks a million time more masculine, muscular and utilitarian—so much so, it's a 21st Century ManCave on Wheels. 

When set to the lowest default parked position the CyberTruck is not much taller than the Model X. One of the things that differentiates the Model X and makes it an SUV is its command seating front seat view which seats the driver up much higher than in a car. The CyberTruck, using its air suspension can be raised up 17 inches higher on demand.

I think the Model X is an amazing vehicle in many ways, but don't get me started on the super ill-designed falcon wing doors, which are HORRIBLE at best. Also the second row captains seat chairs are located too close to the doors, and the seats are way too narrow. In other words, sitting in the front seats is amazing, but the second row of seats is terrible and the falcon wind doors are a complete nightmare on wheels.

King of the Road

I personally perceive the CyberTruck as being more of a serious halo statement piece SUV than a truck. The CyberTruck was clearly designed as the ultimate cutting-edge modern Alpha male status symbol.

If you want to go on a roadtrip with a single bike, you can't fit a decent size bike inside the back of the Model X, so you have to buy and use a bike rack that can only go on the back. If you have nice bikes on the back of the Model X, on a bike rack, and you want to stop and grab a sandwich, you have to worry about somebody cutting the locks and stealing your bikes. 

With the CyberTruck you can store bikes in the bed with the tonneau cover closed, so you don't need to buy and install/uninstall a bike rack, and the CyberTruck will not only hide your bikes, but would be almost impossible to break into. It's also worth noting the CyberTruck bed is super clean and utilitarian in the sense it lacks the traditional large wheel well blisters or humps for exposed wheel wells, like you would find in a traditional truck like a Ford F150 Lightning. This translates into even more useful space utilization, which can easily accommodate 4x8 foots sheets of plywood.

Speaking of the CyberTruck being a statement piece: CyberTruck is a hardcore statement piece!!! If you think about it for a moment, EVERY SINGLE car on the road today makes some kind of statement, but there is no other vehicle made that makes the kind of bold declarative statement quite like the Tesla CyberTruck. It’s deeply polarizing and looks kinda like an old souped-up El Camino had a baby with an old lotus Esprit from the 70s, who that then had offspring with a Ford F150 whose father was a stainless steel Delorean. 

In my personal opinion, I believe the CyberTruck will displace and do the most damage to the Range Rover brand, as it's like a super high tech/all-electric Range Rover. I am not a truck guy—at all. If you offered to give me a top of the line Ford Lightning truck for free, but told me I couldn't sell it and had to drive it, I wouldn't take it. Which is why I say I perceive the CyberTruck way more as a high-end SUV than a truck.

I took the photo below of the CyberTruck in a Tesla showroom, which really shows of it's masculine build. The photos below with the red stripe show my design concept for how I intent to improve my own CyberTruck.